La Politesse

“Bonjour!” (Good morning/good day!)

“Bonjour! Ça va?” (Good day! How are you?)

“Ça va bien, merci! Un pain de chocolat, s’il vous plait.” (I’m fine, thanks. One pain au chocolat, please.)

*Lady at the patisserie hands over the perfectly flaky chocolate-filled croissant*

“Merci beaucoup, madame!” (Thank you very much, madame!)

“Je vous en prie. Bonne journée!” (You’re welcome. Have a good day!)

  

This is pretty much the regular conversation I have anywhere I order my favourite pain au chocolat in Paris. This similar conversation pattern is also applied everywhere else – from shopping at Galeries Lafayette, to ordering escargots at the local brasserie, or ordering a burger at Quick. Before I visited Paris for the first time a few years ago, I was warned about how rude and unfriendly the Parisians are. However, as soon as I landed I was greeted with nothing but politeness and even a few flirty exchanges with some Frenchmen. Since then, I’ve come across a few rude folk but more often than not, I’ve had very pleasant experiences with Parisians. It perhaps could be that I understand and speak some French, or it could basically be because I researched French culture before heading over and learned that it is a custom to simply say bonjour or bonsoir (good evening) whenever you walk into any establishment. I’ve made the mistake of forgetting to greet the lady serving us at the canteen at work and went ahead and ordered my meal, only to receive a strange look and a stern bonjour from the woman waiting for me to acknowledge her greeting. Safe to say, I’ve never failed to offer my salutations at every place I go since that incident.

I fell in love instantly the moment I stepped foot in Paris for the first time. Yes, it’s dirty, it smells strange, and it’s not exactly the safest place, but it certainly has its charm and is probably the most beautiful and photogenic city I’ve been to so far. The traffic and the crazy driving are not my cup of tea, but the architecture, cobble-stoned streets, and the history involved in every nook and cranny of the City of Lights just absolutely mesmerises me. Moreover, one of the things that I love most about Paris is the French etiquette – la politesse. Formality is key and is practiced in the way they greet and speak to one another, the way they dress (I envy the effortless beauty of the Parisians!), and in any situation they present themselves. I visited a few factories and warehouses for work this month – places where you wouldn’t generally think you’d need to bring table manners to – and even there, I felt like Belle in Beauty and the Beast when she’s walking through the town. There were a lot of bonjours, mercis, handshakes, and cheek-to-cheek kisses – between myself and the people I met and even between the people that worked there who saw each other daily. 

I’ve lived in and visited several countries where the people are known for their friendliness and hospitality, like the Philippines, Thailand, and Cambodia to name a few. However, I think the French claims the top spot for me when it comes to genuine greetings and definitely wins for politeness. From personal experience, I think the Parisians’ snobby reputation comes the lack of understanding of their customs and culture and also the language barrier. Back in the day, you’d stop a person on the street to ask for directions and they wouldn’t be able to help you and this was mistaken for snobbery. However, they basically just didn’t speak the language or didn’t understand your request. Today though, more and more young French people are learning English so it’s easier to get around as a tourist with no knowledge of the language. Furthermore, how would you feel if a stranger visits your country and disrespects your local customs? When you walk into a shop and forget to greet the shopkeeper, they take that as a sign of disrespect. At the end of the day, it really isn’t much effort to say hello and acknowledge someone’s presence, is it?

Image: Pinterest

After being in Paris for almost a month, it was easy to become accustomed to French etiquette. I was raised to always be polite and presentable, but the Parisians take it up a notch. The effortlessly great dress sense and perfectly coiffed ‘dos are not just for themselves, but to show respect for others as well. Admittedly, it’s made me take an extra few minutes in the morning to think about my outfit for the day and no matter how bad my day is and unsociable I feel, I always end up feeling better after a Bonjour! and brief exchange with the doorman, taxi driver, or waiter. It never hurts to say hello and ask how someone’s day is going. Who knows? You may just brighten up their day! So take the time to be polite and greet that stranger. And before you travel to a foreign country, don’t forget to read up on their culture because something that is proper for you may be completely rude to them. 

Bonne journée, mes amis!

Image: Shutterstock

This post is in honour of the French National Day – La Fête Nationale or Le quatorze juillet (the 14^th of July), commonly and mistakenly known as Bastille Day (which apparently is completely wrong – read “Stop Calling It Bastille Day!” by Sidonie Sawyer, a Franco-American journalist for The Huffington Post).