La Politesse

“Bonjour!” (Good morning/good day!)

“Bonjour! Ça va?” (Good day! How are you?)

“Ça va bien, merci! Un pain de chocolat, s’il vous plait.” (I’m fine, thanks. One pain au chocolat, please.)

*Lady at the patisserie hands over the perfectly flaky chocolate-filled croissant*

“Merci beaucoup, madame!” (Thank you very much, madame!)

“Je vous en prie. Bonne journée!” (You’re welcome. Have a good day!)

  

This is pretty much the regular conversation I have anywhere I order my favourite pain au chocolat in Paris. This similar conversation pattern is also applied everywhere else – from shopping at Galeries Lafayette, to ordering escargots at the local brasserie, or ordering a burger at Quick. Before I visited Paris for the first time a few years ago, I was warned about how rude and unfriendly the Parisians are. However, as soon as I landed I was greeted with nothing but politeness and even a few flirty exchanges with some Frenchmen. Since then, I’ve come across a few rude folk but more often than not, I’ve had very pleasant experiences with Parisians. It perhaps could be that I understand and speak some French, or it could basically be because I researched French culture before heading over and learned that it is a custom to simply say bonjour or bonsoir (good evening) whenever you walk into any establishment. I’ve made the mistake of forgetting to greet the lady serving us at the canteen at work and went ahead and ordered my meal, only to receive a strange look and a stern bonjour from the woman waiting for me to acknowledge her greeting. Safe to say, I’ve never failed to offer my salutations at every place I go since that incident.

I fell in love instantly the moment I stepped foot in Paris for the first time. Yes, it’s dirty, it smells strange, and it’s not exactly the safest place, but it certainly has its charm and is probably the most beautiful and photogenic city I’ve been to so far. The traffic and the crazy driving are not my cup of tea, but the architecture, cobble-stoned streets, and the history involved in every nook and cranny of the City of Lights just absolutely mesmerises me. Moreover, one of the things that I love most about Paris is the French etiquette – la politesse. Formality is key and is practiced in the way they greet and speak to one another, the way they dress (I envy the effortless beauty of the Parisians!), and in any situation they present themselves. I visited a few factories and warehouses for work this month – places where you wouldn’t generally think you’d need to bring table manners to – and even there, I felt like Belle in Beauty and the Beast when she’s walking through the town. There were a lot of bonjours, mercis, handshakes, and cheek-to-cheek kisses – between myself and the people I met and even between the people that worked there who saw each other daily. 

I’ve lived in and visited several countries where the people are known for their friendliness and hospitality, like the Philippines, Thailand, and Cambodia to name a few. However, I think the French claims the top spot for me when it comes to genuine greetings and definitely wins for politeness. From personal experience, I think the Parisians’ snobby reputation comes the lack of understanding of their customs and culture and also the language barrier. Back in the day, you’d stop a person on the street to ask for directions and they wouldn’t be able to help you and this was mistaken for snobbery. However, they basically just didn’t speak the language or didn’t understand your request. Today though, more and more young French people are learning English so it’s easier to get around as a tourist with no knowledge of the language. Furthermore, how would you feel if a stranger visits your country and disrespects your local customs? When you walk into a shop and forget to greet the shopkeeper, they take that as a sign of disrespect. At the end of the day, it really isn’t much effort to say hello and acknowledge someone’s presence, is it?

Image: Pinterest

After being in Paris for almost a month, it was easy to become accustomed to French etiquette. I was raised to always be polite and presentable, but the Parisians take it up a notch. The effortlessly great dress sense and perfectly coiffed ‘dos are not just for themselves, but to show respect for others as well. Admittedly, it’s made me take an extra few minutes in the morning to think about my outfit for the day and no matter how bad my day is and unsociable I feel, I always end up feeling better after a Bonjour! and brief exchange with the doorman, taxi driver, or waiter. It never hurts to say hello and ask how someone’s day is going. Who knows? You may just brighten up their day! So take the time to be polite and greet that stranger. And before you travel to a foreign country, don’t forget to read up on their culture because something that is proper for you may be completely rude to them. 

Bonne journée, mes amis!

Image: Shutterstock

This post is in honour of the French National Day – La Fête Nationale or Le quatorze juillet (the 14^th of July), commonly and mistakenly known as Bastille Day (which apparently is completely wrong – read “Stop Calling It Bastille Day!” by Sidonie Sawyer, a Franco-American journalist for The Huffington Post).

Solo no more!

There seems to be this fascination with traveling alone and finding yourself. I have to admit that since I read and watched “Eat, Pray, Love” I wanted to be take a trip on my own so I, too, could find myself. But I think I was more excited about the idea of the travel itself more than the “finding myself” aspect. Why do I need to find myself anyway if I already know who I am? Sure sure, different strokes for different folks I guess. I never got to do my “Eat, Pray, Love” trip simply because I didn’t have the budget. Admittedly, I was also a bit scared. You see, I’m a planner and I guess you could say quite OC too. Even though the thought of just quitting my job, packing my bags, and seeing where the world takes me was (still is!) enticing, I couldn’t get myself to actually do it. I am quite envious though of those who do manage to do just that and with only $100 in their pocket. I think I’d have a nervous breakdown!

Saying this, I have traveled by myself but for work. Usually it’s a few days in a city I’m already familiar with and since it’s for work and I’m there for meetings, I’m taken care of by such gracious hosts who make sure I am comfortable, well-fed, and safe. So it’s a lot different experience than traveling purely on your own accord.

I’m currently on a business trip in France. I arrived on June 21^st and will be here till mid-July so you could say I’m a temporary resident for a little short of a month. This trip is a bit special for a few reasons:

• I’m traveling on my own but for work so I have meetings up the hoop – meaning, at least I know some people from the offices here but I’ve just met them so no one I’m really close to or know very well 
• I arrived in Paris on my own, with some colleagues (whom I work closely with) only arriving a week or more later
• Even when my colleagues arrived, I still had to travel solo within France to places I’d never been to before
• Though I understand and speak a bit of French, I’m not 100% fluent and your brain completely forgets all the French you’ve ever learned when you’re nervous and anxious

This basically goes back to the whole “finding yourself when you travel alone” thing. I can’t say I’ve “found” myself but what I do know is that I’m discovering snippets of my personality that I didn’t previously know about. For example, I’ve come to realise that I do not like traveling alone. I’m perfectly okay with it but I do not prefer it. I like visiting the sites and, even more so, the lesser-known, non-touristy places and experiencing the local culture. It’s fun and exciting but it’s not as much so when I don’t have someone to share those experiences with. I like to talk about them and compare notes and I think that is one of the things I love most about traveling.

Another thing I’ve learned about myself is that I’m actually a tough little cookie. Some people may see me as someone with a strong personality and can be bitchy at times, but when it all boils down to it I’m a softy at heart. Last week the Parisian taxi drivers went on strike so there was no way to get in/out or around the city apart from private cars and trains. It was the day after the strike and taxis were still scarce on the road. I had to get to Pantin (a suburb just outside the periphery of Paris, also a place that isn’t exactly the safest place to be walking around) for a 9:00am meeting. I waited for a taxi for 10 minutes at the taxi stand near the hotel but none had passed. I didn’t want to be late so I had no choice but to take the Metro. If you haven’t been on the Paris Metro, let me tell you it’s a crazy maze of lines that run underground the entire city and can be quite confusing. I’m usually good when it comes to navigating subways but in my rushed anxiety, I’d stepped on the wrong train and only realised after the doors had shut. Not a huge deal though as I got off at the next stop to return to the original station to take the correct train. 

Navigating roads, on the other hand, even WITH Google Maps, is something I am terrible at. To make matters worse, there are 2 roads with the exact same name in two different areas just about the same distance away from the Metro station I had gotten off at. Long story short, I had gone to the road in the wrong area – still in this unsafe part of town. A few calls to the office and even they had no idea where I was and I was starting to get frustrated. Then I realised that it wasn’t a good idea to be frustrated and nervous in such a place as it makes you an easy target. After about half an hour, we finally figured out where I was and I had to walk back to the beginning to get to the right place. Our company always warns us about how dangerous Pantin is and there have been numerous incidents of our colleagues being robbed so you can imagine my huge sigh of relief when I finally made it to the office in one piece. This particular experience basically showed me that even if I can be a scaredy cat at times, when the going gets tough, I know that I’ll be able to get my act together and manage myself through it. 

The rest of my colleagues are arriving this weekend and I’d be glad to see and hang out with them. Sure, it was fun navigating Paris and other parts of France on my own for almost 2 weeks and having to converse in a foreign language, but I’m looking forward to finally sharing experiences with people I know. Would I choose to travel on my own for pleasure? Probably not. But I guess you could sort of say I did “find” a little bit of myself during this trip so far.

Have you traveled or do you travel alone? Do you prefer solo traveling or with at least one other person? What did you discover about yourself, other people, etc.?