Where are you from?

I have quite the international background and am proud of it. My father is American from Kansas City, Missouri, and my mother is Filipino, originally from Iloilo but moved to Manila when she was still a toddler. If growing up in a bi-racial household isn't international enough, I've also lived in several cities and attended international schools in each of them. I was born in the Philippines, moved to Miri, Malaysia when I was 5 years old, then to Singapore when I was 8. In 1994 we moved back to the Philippines, and after graduating from high school I moved to New Jersey for a year, then to Boston, MA. I moved back to Manila when I was 22, then back to Singapore in 2012, and just recently moved back to Manila again in February of this year. Whew - quite a mouthful! I am a dual citizen and speak three languages and can get by with a couple more. I am definitely what you call a Third Culture Kid.

I believe myself to be lucky with all the moving and traveling I've been doing from a young age, on top of being a mixed race person. I've also been fortunate to have been able to grow up and become friends with people with similar backgrounds and lifestyles. For the most part it never really occurred to me that I was "different" because we were all "different" together. It's funny when people try to decipher where I'm from and kinda cool when I travel and the locals think I'm from their country. More often than not, my conversations with people whom I just met will become a funny story to tell later. One time I was getting my nails done at a nail salon in Boston owned by a Vietnamese family - the manicurist said I was "too white" to be Filipino. Another time during a trip to Vietnam, a local insisted I was - and I kid you not - half Vietnamese, half Ukrainian. Always interesting to see what people have to say!

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However, my situation has also left me still seeking the feeling of "belonging". For example, I'm not American enough to my American family and not Filipino enough on my Filipino side. I was born in Manila and cumulatively have lived in the Philippines the longest but I still can't help but feel like I don't completely belong. In all the other places I've lived, I was obviously a foreigner or expat but in my birthplace I'm still labeled foreign. I just can't quite fit in. I'm comfortable with being a "stranger" but as I get older, I'd like to find a place where I am content. Every time I travel, I'm always subconsciously thinking if I've finally found that place. There are a few places I absolutely love but only time will tell if one them will be home, or if I'll even ever find it.

How does it feel to have been born and raised in the same place and know where home is? That is a question I'll never be able to answer and it will always leave me curious. Do I wish I had grown up differently? Definitely not. But what I do hope is that some day I will be able to find somewhere that I can finally call my HOME. Though I will not look nor speak the same as the locals, I hope to find somewhere I belong. For now at least, I have a gypsy soul.

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